you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Randomize
