Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize