More tranny stories later!
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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