i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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