I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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