dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
