All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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