Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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