Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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