Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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