I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
