I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
