I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
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