Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
