do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
operation harelip BJ is a go
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
