Hey man sorry I got all grabby
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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