Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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