Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
