I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
