overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
