Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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