Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
