He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
