I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
