speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
