ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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