Hey man sorry I got all grabby
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Church boner. Awkwardddd
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
