I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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