I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
there is puke in my bra ... again
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
