You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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