she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I checked into jail on foursquare
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
