I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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