I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
