Where did you get a picture of my penis
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
