I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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