yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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