I just threw up on my dentist
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
