Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
