I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
