dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I have post one night stand depression
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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