ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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