In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Are my feet made of real feet?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
