Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
