your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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