I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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