New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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