I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
