he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
