well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
