you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
