I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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