It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
