I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
