I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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