i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
