wanna go halves on a baby?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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