I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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