i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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