it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
