currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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