The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
